The Getting a satisfying result from using a sex toy
Before using a sex toy for the first time, a friend told me, “Be prepared for it to hurt.” Two other friends of mine suffered pain for months, and I thought this was exactly what women experienced when they started using sex toys. Young women aren’t the only ones hearing this message. 30% of adult women report feeling pain during their last sexual encounter. We found that women define a bad sex toy as “the possibility of causing extreme negative feelings or pain,” while men simply see it as “the possibility of not getting a satisfying result from using a sex toy.”
Too many women have been fed the message that sex toys will cause suffering, at least initially, if not throughout their lives. As a result, too few are doing anything about painful sex toys. When they do find the courage to go to a doctor, they often end up trivializing the problem. This was revealed when a doctor associated with the company wrote in an email that products cause painful intercourse and that women who use the products should use anal sex toys instead.
Introduction: Sex Toys
Emily Sauer, the inventor of a new wearable device called a sex toy, wants women to understand that sex toys are something to enjoy, not something to endure.
The recently introduced sex toy is placed around the base of the penis, effectively shortening it and preventing too-deep insertion, a common cause of pain with sex toys. It looks like three silicone donuts stacked on top of each other, but you can also use just one or two to adjust the depth. You can order it now by donating $58 or more. “I’ve always been a conversation starter,” Sauer says, “but there was one conversation I wasn’t having, and I didn’t realize how much it was impacting my life. Painful sex toys were not only physically uncomfortable; they also contributed to low self-esteem. I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone except my doctor, and when doctors couldn’t help me… I felt helpless myself. So I surrendered to the new normal and dealt with it myself. ”
We need to talk about it
While there are few products on the market to address painful sex toys other than the good old stuff, female-owned businesses are starting to address the issue. The soon-to-be-released product is inserted into underwear to reduce pain (including soreness that may occur after using sex toys) through cold and hot therapy. What’s unique (and empowering) about sex toys is that female partners get to be part of the effort to ensure that sex toys are as pleasurable as possible for women. By encouraging conversations between couples and broader cultural discussions, Sauer hopes to combat the shame felt by many people who have had painful experiences with sex toys and prevent the trivialization of the issue.
